Amanosi F. Agbugui
300 level, Medicine & Surgery
University of Port Harcourt
I’m not a fan of the question, ‘Where do you see yourself in X years?’ because it assumes that things are so fixed when, in fact, they aren’t. I understand that mapping out a plan or draft for the next five or ten years helps put things in perspective, but I can’t help but feel it gives us the illusion of having control over what, in reality, we have little or no control over. ‘Uncertainty’ is a word I have become well acquainted with in recent years, and it has become even more relevant now with all that is going on in the world.
A few weeks ago, I was privileged to watch the graduation ceremony of my secondary school alma mater, and I was transported briefly to my own graduation a few years ago. I remember feeling a plethora of emotions — joy, pride, relief — but underneath all those feelings was the question, ‘What happens now?’ At that moment, all that I had written about where I saw myself in five years didn’t matter, because five years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined myself at my current university. I wasn’t completely sure I’d study medicine, and I certainly didn’t expect a pandemic that would put me out of school for more than six months. The number of things I know now, I could never have known then.
Even in medical school, I find uncertainty a daily occurrence. I go to class with expectations in mind, not really knowing how the day would pan out. I may be greeted with an impromptu test, and if by some stroke of luck I am prepared, there’s always the question of how many marks I’d get. Then, when I do see my score, I get anxious over the next ones because there are always more to come.
Eckhart Tolle said, “If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, it turns into fear. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased aliveness, alertness and creativity”. I have learned to see uncertainty as a true gift of life. I can’t exactly predict what will happen all through the day tomorrow, inasmuch as I try to follow a schedule from start to finish, but that’s the beauty of life, isn’t it? Not knowing for sure what will happen in the next minute. Isn’t that why we get thrills from watching football or wrestling? To know which of the possible outcomes we have thought of will become a certainty? Isn’t that why we get thrills from reading novels?
The only thing certain is uncertainty, and true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing. Even if you think or believe an event will unequivocally play out a certain way, that powerful force still nudges you and says, “Hey you still don’t know; you can’t be sure”. One thing is sure, though — uncertainty is real, and all you have to do is embrace it.
P. S.
Click here to watch our YouTube video on favouritism in medical school.
Click here to watch our YouTube video with Dr Kiki Omeili | Doctor and Actress in Nollywood.
Click here to watch our YouTube video on why you shouldn’t study Medicine at the University.
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