Waking up this morning, I lay on my bed for some minutes with my eyes gazing up at the ceiling. I thought to myself, “What is “this place?” Expectedly, some senior colleagues had come from the University Teaching Hospital at Enugu to distribute some ID cards, and then again the usual advice and words of encouragement followed. That was when we were hit with the news that the 2nd MB results – the dreaded monster – would be out the next day.
It is the next morning, and I’m up thinking of how the fate of many would be decided by that very outcome. Knowing full well that, as usual, some would pass and some would fail, I had double thoughts about “this place”. Thinking about it, all along this here has been my zeal and passion whilst growing up; and though, years ago, one of the Reverends of my church prophesied that I was going to become a great doctor, I have come to understand that “this place” defies prophecies, and nothing, rather unexpectedly, is guaranteed here. Even a genius can fail here. This place was my longing and desire as a kid but now “this place” is the embodiment of my fear.
What is this place? This is medical school, where geniuses are made to doubt their capabilities. “This place” makes us very uncertain about life. Sometimes I feel that no one in this world is more uncertain than a medical student (in pre-clinicals mostly though). Indeed, the fear that “this place” may not be “our place” gets to every one of us, even to the very brilliant.
Amidst it all, fear can be a motivator; fear can inspire us; fear can keep us going. The fear of “this place” is the beginning of wisdom and I believe that “this place”, yes! this very place, is my place.
Congrats to all who passed their 2nd MB – y’all deserve some accolades.
Written by Enyinnaya Okechukwu a first year medical student at the University of Nigeria.